(opens ITunes….scans available legally obtained mp3 files….makes a selection. Gordon Lightfoot begins to play….)
“If you could read my mind, love
What a tale my thoughts could tell”

Don’t worry, this is not going to be a depressing post about a love affair gone wrong.  To write such a post I would have had to have had a recent love affair that went wrong, and well, that hasn’t happened in a while.

No, what I have in mind tonight is just some rambling about things I’ve been thinking about the last few days.  Unlike some of the blogs that I read, I don’t have a family to write about. I don’t have a job that I like writing about, etc. This blog is just about me, and what I’m thinking. For the last few days I’ve been thinking it’s time to make some changes. I’ts time. However before I talk about the changes I’m going to make, it’s necessary to talk a little bit about my history.

Actually, when I think over my past history, I realize it’s well past the time I normally make some fairly serious changes.  Since drinking my way out of college in early 1990 I have made fairly significant changes in my life about every three or four years. Changes in jobs, geographic locations, hobbies, you name it, about once every four years I made some kind of significant change. These changes were not part of any plan, you understand. No, mainly it was just going with the flow, taking the easy way out.

It’s been a long, convoluted road, but I’m finally at a place where I am no longer willing to take the easy way out. I’ve dealt with most of the problems I’d had in my past (alcohol abuse, financial stupidity and credit issues), etc. etc. For the first time in a very long time I am happy for the most part. However, there are some things in my life that I desperately want to change. As good as life is, I can’t escape a low grade feeling that something needs to change. I can’t escape a low grade feeling that as good as things are they can be much better. I can’t escape from the feeling that I’ve run away from some of these issues for far to long.

I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday: No one is going to make things better for me. If things are going to change, I have to be the one to change them. It will be a long process, but and I’ll need a lot of help, but I’m going to do this. Fact is, I have to. I’ve run away from these issues for far to long. The plain and simple fact is this; I’ve had enough, I’m not going to take this any more, and I am going to change.

I didn’t mean to start this, and then leave it with such a cryptic ending, but it’s late, and I’ve got to be at work early tomorrow. So, I’ll end at this point. Tomorrow afternoon I’ll go into the things I’m going to change, and why. I am not sure how all of this is going to go, but I am sure that I’ll probably need some help, some support. I will continue to post about day to day things, etc., but I warn those of you that read this blog that a lot of it is going to be dealing with the changes I’ll be making in my life.

That’s all folks,

C

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One Response

  1. Change is imperative, lest we stagnate.

    Looking forward to reading about it!

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