Feeling Restless.

Good god, the heat of Memphis in late July is truly oppressive. For the life of me I cannot figure out how people lived in this city prior to the invention of airconditioning.

I find myself in a very odd mood this evening. I’m feeling…… restless. Not physically restless, but emotionally restless. My thoughts are kind of all over the place. It’s hard to concentrate on anything. I have several projects I should be working on, but none of them can hold my attention for long.

I tried working on some jewelry for a while. I’m in the process of making some bracelets to give to the Baroness to use for largess. Normally when I get involved in working with the wire and the pliers I can almost get lost in the work. I focuss on the piece I’m working on and just tune out everything else. That isn’t happening tonight.

Then I tried reading for a while. For the last month I’ve been reading all the Dresden Files books by Jim Butcher, but I’d finished the last title of that series that I have, Proven Guilty, and have not yet bought the next one, White Knight. So, I picked up Odd Thomas, by Dean Koonts. Several people, people who’s opinions I respect, had recommended the book to me, but I just can’t get into it tonight. I read the first ten pages or so, but just coulnd’t focus. The problem is with me, it’s not with the book.

So, I read, again, the list of blogs I read daily. I visited  a few of my favorite forums. Couldn’t find anything there to hold my interest. Not even at StraightDope.com or the ArmorArchive.org. Again, normally I can lose myself for long periods of time reading those boards, but not tonight.

I feel like I should be doing something, working on something, but for the life of me, I cannot figure out what I should be working on. I cannot figure out what I should be doing. This restless feeling will not go away. It’s irritating as hell.

I almost feel…..Scratch that, I DO feel that I need a quest, or truly BIG project to work on. Something difficult, but that will grab , and hold, my attention, my drive. I’m looking for it, but haven’t found it yet. I’ve been attracted to the idea of Quest for years. Fact is, there is a quest that I’ve been engaged in for the last three years, to ask every Pelican that I meet for a piece of advice to a protege. I’ve received a  lot of excellent advice because of that. Some of it truly thought provoking, some of it truly hilarious. I plan to continue that quest for a long time.

But what I’m thinking about tonight is some kind of Quest, with a capital Q. Perhaps what I’m looking for is a Vision Quest.  I just have to find it, just have to figure out what it is.  I wish the Divine Force of the universe would tap me on the shoulder and simply say, “go and do X, that is your quest”, but so far that hasn’t  happened.

So, any ideas?

Cormac

Vexa minus
Labora plurius

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One Response

  1. Hey Cormac – all that advice you’re asking and getting from each of the Pelicans? I was curious if perhaps you were writing it down. I think that would be a cool project – to document their answers and possibly put it in a booklet form. Just a thought. I personally think it’d be cool.

    IF you get into the Odd Thomas books, let me know. I have the entire series you can borrow, and save a little cash instead of buying them.

    I know exactly how you feel about feeling like You Should Be Doing Something.
    Not that I feel that way at the moment, but yeah, I’ve gone through phases like that – which is one of the reasons I was so swamped with way to much to do for such a long time. Took a bit to figure out that other people could pick up slack for once and that I could actually say NO on some things. 🙂

    Missed you @ Curia tonight, btw. 🙂

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