What they have in common

I am participating in a “Quote Challenge” that my friend Mistress Sarah cooked up on her blog, Beerwithastraw.com, and the quote for this week is this:

“The best way to learn to be a lady is to see how other ladies do it.” –Mae West

Sarah said she wanted a male perspective, so she tagged me. I’ll have to remember to thank her for that at some point in the future. Yes, she’s due for a very special thanks. Oh well, I do like a challenge.

(Late Thursday night)…..OK, I’ve tried to write this post several times. In fact I’ve written it at least three times now, and I’ve not been satisfied with any of the posts. So, I’m starting again. Over the last 43 years I’ve had the to know several great Ladies. In some ways they were all very different; but when I thought about it, I realized they all shared some of the same characteristics: class, confidence, integrity, generosity, a sense of humor, and a genuine care for people. Each Lady demonstrates these traits in often very different ways, but they all share them.

“Class ” is defined by Dictionary.com as “Elegance of style, taste, and manner “, and that description works. Of course what a Great Plains farmers wife (like say, my Grandmother) considers to be elegant or stylish will be very different from what a women of New Orleans Society would consider elegant (like, say, Mrs. Dawn Murphy), but a whatever her definition, a Lady will act in a manner that shows her view of elegance, taste, and manner. She will do this without thinking about it; it is not something she works at, it is something she IS.

A Lady is confident in any situation. She knows what is going on, what she wants, and has a pretty good idea of how to go about getting it. She is not nervous, skittish, or afraid.

A Lady has a personal integrity that is unquestioned. She is trusted by all because she has proven herself to be trustworthy. Equally importantly, she expects others to do the same. She trusts people until they show they do not deserve to be trusted. What is interesting, because of that trust, most people go out of their way to not lose the trust of a lady. Well, that’s been my experience, at least.

A Lady is generous. I don’t mean just generous with her money, or possessions, but with her time and attention. While financial generosity is nice, the generosity of time and attention is even more important. When dealing with someone a Lady doesn’t make that person feel that she is in a hurry to be doing something else, or to be somewhere else. She devotes her attention to the person before her and makes that person feel important.

A Lady has an infectious sense of humor. She is quick to laugh, and quick to help other people laugh

All of the Ladies I have had the pleasure and honor to know have shared the characteristics I’ve already listed, and they have all shared a genuine care for people. They all like people, all types of people. Because they like people, they devote, their time, attention, generosity, and humor on the people around them. All people, not just their family or friends, but literally everyone. This care for and interest in people is real, and it is rare. People respond to this care. Because they are around someone that so obviously is paying attention to them, is interested in them, people tend to try to be behave better when they are around a Lady. A person in the presence of a Lady tend to cuss less, laugh often , and even people that are normally very shy, tend to talk comfortably and easily. They feel better about themselves, and because they feel better, they try to act better.

As I said at the beginning of this post, any woman that deserves the title of Lady, will display these characteristics in their own way, so it would be kind of difficult to point to any one person and say, “Go, observe her, she is a Lady”. My Grandmother, a woman of the Great Prairie was different in just about every way from Mrs. Murphy. Mrs. Murphy was also very different from Her Excellency Morgana or any of the dozen or so Ladies I’ve known in the SCA. But if you take the time to look beyond the differences, you would, I think see the things these Ladies all had in common.

Easing back into it.

So, I’m going to try maintaining a regular blog again. As my friend Sarah states, Facebook doesn’t really lend itself to communicating anything more complicated than what you are doing right at that moment, and that just doesn’t really appeal to me

I have not been active with this blog since August, but don’t worry, I’m not going to bore you, or myself, with a recap of what I’ve been doing since my last post. Some stuff happened. Some of it was good, some was great, and some of the stuff that happened was not so great. There were some good SCA events, and, of course, the Holidays happened – and they were truly great.

Instead I’m going to focus on looking forward; thinking and writing about what is happening now, what I hope happens in the future.

That is all for the evening.  There will be more in the future.


Back in the Corner.

…I open the door slowly and look around. The layer of dust that has settled over everything in the Corner let’s me know just how long I’ve been away. Far, far to long. Oh well, no reason to dwell on it; I’ve been gone, and now I’m back.
I step inside, turn on the lights, and close the door. I drop my bag and get to work. First: fire up Pandora so I’ll have music while I clean. Raise the blinds to let some light shine in. Dust everything. EVERYTHING. Unpack my gear. Take  seat at my desk….

After only four and half months or so, the Bald Man is back. The story continues.