Midweek Thoughts

Once again  it is Wednesday morning. Odd how the week passes by so quickly.

I am fully back in the real world now; the vacation world of last week is fading into nothing but pleasant memories. Yeah, back in the real world, and I’ve been doing some thinking; that is always a dangerous activity for me.

I started this diet, this journey on my birthday; on December 19, 2010. To the best of my calculation that was 96 days ago. Now, I will freely admit that I do not know my starting weight; I didn’t have a scale capable of weighing me until the first week of January. So, I base my record of weight loss from that time.

When I started this journey my only goal was to lose 225 pounds and to reduce my waist measurement by 20 inches. I had not really thought about what I was trying to accomplish more than that. I had not thought about what kind of changes working toward those goals, let alone meeting them,would make in my life.

I had not thought about how much of my self esteem, self image, and perception of self, indeed of the word, was influenced by my weight. You see, I have been overweight my entire life. I do not have any memories of a time when I was not fat.I have never been able to look in a mirror and not see a fat man looking back at me.

Indeed, often when I look in a mirror what I see is a man that is far fatter than I actually am. When I was in college I would see a man that is seemed to be hideously large, but when I now look at pictures of myself from that time in my life I realize that I was not nearly as large as I thought I was.

I mention this because it was not until I returned from vacation that I could actually see changes when I look in the mirror. I knew I was making progress, knew I was loosing weight because of the changes I could feel in the fit of my clothes. I knew I was making progress because of how good I felt physically. I knew I was losing weight because I could see the lower numbers on the scale everyday. I knew all this, but I couldn’t see any changes when I looked in the mirror.

However, when I returned from vacation I could see the changes. I now see a man that has made definite progress, yet still has a long way to go.  I see a man that is changing from what he was into something, someone else. I am looking forward to seeing, indeed to meeting that man.

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