Strangely Liberating

Another short post tonight. I had a rather amazing, liberating experience today: I threw away a bunch of clothes.Not real exciting, I guess, but it damn sure made me feel good.

You see, these were all clothes I have been keeping for months , or years in some cases. They were all clothes that no longer fit because I had gained to much weight to be able to wear them. I kept them because I always had a hope that I would someday lose enough weight to be able to wear them again.

So, this afternoon when I was dragging out my garb tubbies from my closet I  saw those clothes in the “currently to small but may wear again someday” section of my closet, and a switch just flipped in my mind. Yeah,  at the rate I am losing weight I may be able to wear those again, but I do not think I want to. So, into the trash they went. Hell, one was a suit I haven’t worn in 17 years (though to be honest I am not a guy that wears suits often anyway).

I know I will have to buy some new clothes soon. I have never, EVER, enjoyed shopping for clothes, and I do not expect to ever enjoy it, but I am going to enjoy buying smaller sizes than I had to buy the last time I actually bought any.

Throwing away those old clothes was, in a very strange way, liberating. It felt like I was throwing away unpleasant memories of my past. I doubt that makes sense to anyone but me, but it was a good, GOOD feeling.

 

 

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I Feel Good.

It’s Sunday morning and I feel fine!  I have definitely passed over, or through, the plateau, and I find that the scale is moving again. Not as fast as it had been doing, but it is definitely moving again, and that is a VERY good feeling. I know this is not much of a post, but, frankly, I just do not have a great deal to say this morning. I just wanted report that I feel good.

 

On my mind tonight

Since I started this current weight loss plan I have significantly changed  my food intake considerably, and one of the biggest changes is the fact that I have practically eliminated the amount of food I eat from restaurants. Before starting this project I used to eat the majority of my meals from restaurants. While I did not , usually, go to fast food places, it would not have been unusual for me to eat at some kind of buffet place three or four times a week. Not healthy, because EVERYONE tends to overeat at buffet style restaurants, and bloody expensive as well. I particularly like Chinese Food buffets; the staff at Panda Buffet in Bartlett knew me by name, and new what table I prefered.

Now, in the last 76 days (yeah, I am counting) I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have eaten at restaurants. I have become quite proficient at preparing clean meals at home. My skill at packing lunches to take to work with me has grown significantly as well. In developing these skills I have learned quite a bit about myself, and I will discuss that in a different post. What I am concerned about tonight is my vacation.

You seen, one week from today I am leaving Memphvegas to spend a week with about 3000 of my closest friends at a week  long SCA event; yeah, it is time for Gulf Wars again.  In years past I would just march down to the food merchants for meals each day. Of course there will also be food at the Gleann Abhann social. Hell, a person would actually have to work hard to starve at Gulf Wars.

Unfortunately, the food at the vendors, and most of the food that would be available from the other people attending the war, will not be the type of food I have been eating as part of my project. So, I am trying to figure out what I can make ahead of time and pack in a cooler for the week.

I know I can make meals ahead of time and freeze them. That’s what I do for the majority of my meals now: make it, package in single serving containers, freeze , and when needed reheat in the microwave. No, the question is going to be how to keep the pre-prepared meals frozen for the week, and how to reheat them when necessary. I do not really have any answers at this point, but I am thinking about the subject.

Lets Think About the Positive.

“Lets focus on the positive”.

That phrase has been running through what passes for my mind a lot this week. I have had reason to need to focus on the positive. I am not sure that doing so is helping, but at least I am not allowing myself to drop into negativity. That is, I feel, rather important.

You see, in the last couple of weeks I have hit a plateau; I have not lost any weight since I hit the 60 pound mark. Now, I need to be clear; I have not regained any weight, but I have not lost any more either.I knew this would happen, I was just hoping it would wait a bit.

I have not gone back to any of my old habits; I am still eating clean. I am still motivated. I am still doing all the right things. I just have plateaued. It will pass as long as I stay on track. I KNOW that it will pass. I know it all intellectually. However, knowing something intellectually and knowing something emotionally are very different things.

Emotionally it has gotten more difficult to look at that scale and see no change. So, Monday , when saw yet another day of no weight loss, I decided that instead of thinking about the negative, I would spend some time focusing on the positive. Well, that is what I decided after creatively cussing the scale for about thirty seconds. You would be amazed at how much cussing I can get done in a mere thirty seconds.

So, lets think about the positives. There are actually a lot of positives:
• Despite the current period of no loss, the fact remains that I have lost sixty sodding pounds in just a little of two months. That is a great feeling.
• I feel better physically than I have in years.  I can walk around a SCA event site all day and not hurt at the end of  day (proved that last weekend), and I have been told by people I believe that I do not snore as much as I used to. Oh, and I am sleeping better than I was before I started dieting as well. These are all very positive developments.
• Finally, every day this week I have worn clothes that I was not able to wear six months ago. So, even though there has not been any additional weight loss, there are definite changes in my body. Positive changes.  Changes I can most definitely live with.

 

Checking In

Hmm..no posts in ten days. That does not really show a dedication to this blog, does it? Fortunately my dedication to the diet itself is still strong.When I last posted I was in the eighties; 398.6. As of yesterday I still am in the eighties: 386.2. Not much of a change after ten days, but it is a loss, and that is what is important.

There have been couple of rough times. I didn’t follow the plan exactly when I went out of town for the Historic Romance. I didn’t screw up to badly, but I didn’t follow the plan. Nor did I follow the plan on Thursday when I had lunch at Panda. That was a mistake. A serious mistake.

 

Back in the Eighties again.

Hey Folks,

I had a thought that I would start thinking of my diet as a bit of a time machine. Each time I enter a new ten pound range, I’ll picture that as the corresponding decade; any weight in the 90’s (for instance 390-399) will be the nineties. Etc. Etc.  It might not make a lot of sense, but it works for me.

When I made the last post i was still in the 90’s: 390.6. I don’t really remember much of 1990. I know I was living in Little Rock. I know it was an unsettled time in my life. I had just left college. I had moved back in with my family, and it was tough on all of us.

As of today, I’m in the 80’s again: 389.2. Just barely in the eighties, but it is definitely the eighties. I remember even less of 1989 than I do of 1990. During at least half of that year I was in Starkville, the last year I was in College. Well, technically I was in college, but in reality I was in denial. I was in denial about my financial status. I was in denial about how deeply I was in debt. I was hiding from my parents, my creditors, and from myself. It was NOT a good year.

I honestly don’t remember what season of the year it was when I moved to Little Rock. I think it was in the spring. That feels right. The one good thing I remember is that I got a job fairly quickly. Little Rock was the first time I got a job working on the phone: I got a job working for Heritage Publishing, working as telemarketer. I wasn’t real good at it, but I was working. I worked as a telemarketer at one job or another the entire time I lived in Little Rock.

I think I’m going to enjoy this current trip through the late Eighties a lot more.

Sunday Thoughts

Super Bowel Sunday. Hard to believe, but it is true.

This has been a good week diet wise. I’ve managed to stay on purpose all week. I didn’t eat any food from restaurants, nor did I purchase any snacks from the vending machines at work. Most importantly, I didn’t even want to do either of those things.

The most important lesson of the week may have been simply that I can join my friends in social settings with out eating. More importantly, I learned that when I do that, nobody cares. For example when Turlaugh, Jakob and I went out to Perkins after the SCA meeting on Tuesday, neither of them cared that I only ordered water and a diet coke. Also, none of the Dragons gave a damn when I declined to join them for breakfast this morning. My friends understand what I’m trying to do. Not only do they understand it, they are very, very supportive.

The weigh in for the company Biggest Loser Contest on Thursday was particularly enjoyable. Yeah, I said enjoyable. That weigh in showed that I had lost 50 pounds since the start of the competition. I was on vacation Friday so I don’t know if that still leaves me in the lead or not, but it was, truly, an enjoyable experience. I can’t weight until the next one.

The coming week my main focus, other than sticking with the diet plan is to exercise more. I managed to use my pedometer to mark a minimum of 2500 steps a day, but this coming week I’m aiming for 3500, and at least three visits to the gym. It’s time I start using what I’m paying for.

Today’s weigh in: 390.6